Who would've thought?

Photo by Marie-France Latour on Unsplash

So... I've just received a bad news. Not that I don't know this will come eventually. It's just... this happened at last. This time I feel really scared after maybe a very long time. Well, it's partly my fault, so yeah. I was like the biggest planner and now I know my plan is not going to work at all. All I can do now is to re-plan. This time, carefully and isn't rushed. Making a new plan and moving forward is scary. Real understatement. But if I'm forced to take two steps back now to move forward, I'll do it. Even if it's hard, I'll have to do it. 

Also, things have been very quiet for a few months or so. I feel bad for myself to not write anything here. Like I mentioned in the last post, I want and kinda have a plan to re-brand this blog but now, it's going to have to wait, sadly. All in all I hope you have a good day and everything's work well for you. Cheers


Broke down

Photo by John-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash

Hey you guys, or anyone that happened to read my blog, really. Hi. I've been away for so long and hardly write any posts at all. However, I want to share something that happened to me today. Today, I feel so happy. It’s one of good things that happened to me this year. I originally wanted to write this in my journal but ahem, I just got a new one and I haven’t figured out how I want to play with it and I don’t want to make mistakes and have to rip some pages so… you get the drift. Oh God, it’s been so long since I wrote and it feels awkward already. I actually want to re-brand my blog and already have some drafts but I want to remember this day, so there you go, a blog post before I restart (again).

Before we go to the best stuff, here’s some of the back story. Without getting into too much details, I've been away, and truthfully, not just in social media but also in real life for… the past years. Yup. I also didn't know I could be this extreme. I've always been so naïve and transparent, if you will. But after being so overwhelmed, I just stopped. Why? Because, it’s just hard to explain so many thoughts and feelings. Sad excuse, I know. To be fair, some people would see my problems as some things I could get away with quickly. I think so too. But sometimes, the heart and the brain do not have the same idea. 

Best bit: today, two of my friends came to my house. They took me to have lunch and they asked how I am doing as I've been hard to reach and I finally broke down. 

The thing is, friends are a luxury for me, especially now. I'm a difficult person, you see. When I’m away, it’s going to be hard to reach me. I want to be alone but sometimes it feels lonely. But it is what it is. That is what happened when you push people away. Many times, you will feel you do not have any friends. I feel that too, but you know, it's my consequence. Because I don’t know how to deal with myself or with my worries and feelings, it’s just easier to push people away than to explain and face them. The funny thing is that I do have friends, I just don't let them be a friend to me.

Another thing is something came up in our conversation. Something being “me writing”. I guess they were quite shocked when I told them I haven’t been writing ever since. Now, me sitting down writing this post, it feels bizarre too. Writing has always been my escape and my joy…

Oh well, today’s post is quite personal, difficult and somewhat incoherent, sorry for that! Anyway, I hope you have a good weekend. 


This is nice

Photo by Artur Aleksanian

I never really into sunny days; it's nice and all but I'm more of a rain kinda girl. But today is really beautiful. Weather aside though, let's talk about shampoos and podcasts. I know, very random, but they've been on my mind quite a lot. So, why not talk about it, right.

So, first thing first, shampoos. Le sigh. Why is it so hard to find the one? The last shampoo I talked about, Natur, I don't think it's working anymore. And after observing, I believe my hair don't really like the product. It's a shame though, I really liked it in the beginning. I felt like I finally have found the right one. Oh, well. My hair journey is a really long one. My sister has been researching some shampoos for me to try though. There is one she's strongly recommend. I think we shall see. Oh, talking about my sister, Natur shampoo works well with her. 

Now, let's talk about podcasts. There are two new podcasts on my list right now. One is Full coverage podcast and the other is Twenty thousand hertz podcast. Full coverage podcast is a podcast discussing about beauty. The hosts are Lindsey Kelk and Harriet Hadfield. What I know is that Lindsey is an author although I haven't read her books and I know Harriet (or Harry) from her YouTube channel. This is a new podcast, so far there are two episodes but I really like this podcast! It's not heavy but informative and quite funny too. The other podcast is a really good podcast too. It's a podcast about sound. I haven't heard all of the episodes (so far there are 12 episodes) but the two I've heard were about space and movie soundtrack were so good! I would describe the podcast as a high quality produced and sophisticated podcast. But, it is also informative and interesting too! Oh my god, you guys, the music they featured on the episodes I've heard were a very nice addition. Point is, I really like this podcast. It's nothing like I've seen or heard before. 

These days I've been into podcasts and books rather than YouTube videos. That's really my cycle for entertainment. What have you guys been up to? Also, have a great day!


Baby steps

I had a nightmare last night. But, don't worry, today's post isn't about it! Ha! Following yesterday's quite sad post (anyway, yesterday I unexpectedly had a lovely birthday!), I want to share some blog posts from my fav bloggers. Their posts really help me in my current state. Sometimes I tend to not read this kind of posts because I want to save it for the "occasion", sometimes I read it and then come back for it. It depends. But here are the posts:

Maira Gall